Saturday, December 9, 2006

What do you love about yourself?

Dear writers groupies,

I created this blog to post the love letters from our last group, which I described in this post. As part of the exercise, I asked each groupie to identify one characteristic which he/she loves about him or herself. We then threw the names into a hat and each of us had to write a love letter to the person they selected, using that specific characteristic.

Here's the catch.

The morning after group, I threw away all of those slips of paper. I invite you to post a comment after each love letter, identifying which characteristic the subject selected.

Steve loves Steve

Dear Steve,

I knew you were the one for me, the very first time I looked in the mirror and observed your finely sculptured nose. You are magnificent. When I grow up, I want to be just like you, which makes me a lucky man, considering the fact that I AM you. Did I mention you have a wonderful ass? I like the way you walk, I like the way you talk, and I especially like your taste in women. You and I are going to go far together. You can count on me, or rather I can count on you. I am you as you, are me, as he is one, and we are all together. You did a great job writing this letter as well.

I am with you always!

Love, Steve

Edit loves Jeff

My dearest and most beloved Jeff!

I am endlessly grateful to you. Since I met you, my life has transformed totally. I cannot go anymore to have a pee, without having this deep, pulsing, silky swelling inside of me.

When I smell your t-shirt you left on the washing machine, with every breath I take from it I get more and more dizzy. I feel your arms around me, the hair on your chest tickles my breast, I feel your hot sigh on my neck, and I just keep spinning ...

Jeff, my beautiful lover, I find great pleasure in watching your body, too. The fine, gentle curves around the armpit, where the skin folds in like petals. The playful harmony of the choreography of your movements. The intimate interplay of the muscles, your most elegant flight in the air, comparable only to the albatross, when you throw football so accurately, never missing to perform an unforgettable dance, in which you resonate on the frequency of the most pearl-like particles of the universe.

Oh, Jeff, I long for your embrace, just by thinking about it I start trembling, please, don’t keep me waiting long, take me, take me, press your lips on my lips, breathe me in, let me become your cells, unify with you in a cosmic joy I can only get in your arms.

Signature: an aspect of the Goddess

Jeff loves Esther

Dear Esther,

My apologies for my behavior yesterday. I was terribly selfish to consider my own comfort, and you ... you only acted to protect my own interests. Of course, the fault was mine for insisting that we head “South of the Border” for the breakfast burrito before heading over to the church for little Brian’s baptism. As we discussed, unfortunately too loudly, I could not prevent a few ‘Silent but Deadly Ones’ from corrupting the sacred ceremony, and as I have admitted, perhaps too loudly, I ‘needed’ to do it. Of course, you were right for castigating me with your glance ... And now upon further reflection I realize what else you were saying. you had also consumed a breakfast burrito with hot n’ spicy Salsa, and were also struggling with surging gastric gas production. I took the easy way out and gave in to my animal urges. You, however, exercised Heroic ... or should I say Heroine-ic stoicism in controlling and suppressing your overwhelming flatulent instinct and instead, at expenditure of great will, you perservered with the virginal perfume of gaseous anal retention. And it is those muscles you flexed down there that is currently making me all excited.

Love, Jeff

Kalman loves Edit

Sorry, I’m not good at this sort of thing.

I usually write poems and microwave oven manuals; I’m but a simple man.

Imagine that this is a poem.

The process started when I walked in on you, you’re so daring you were having a bath behind an open door

in some old fart’s flat.

There was too much courage in your face hair, I couldn’t wash my hands with you staring at me.

When I went for a piss later, the bathtub was empty,

and I’m too down-to-earth to imagine your presence into it.

I’m sorry, I’ll try to be a better man in the future.

Photography would help, but that’s more than I dare to wish for.

Dear Edit, I’ve spent today standing in my own shower - I’m sorry I don’t have a tub at home -

- and I was putting your shape into my cracked tub,

I think I’m almost there.

Esther loves Kalman

Dec 7, 2006

Dear Kálmán,

Hey. Hi! I know it’s been a long time, 6 months, since we met. But I have missed you and I couldn’t let my pride or embarrassment about not writing you get in the way.

How are you? I’ve been thinking about you a lot and been wishing that you find you way ... your happiness. OK! I know you are happy and dig everything but sometimes I feel, man, that you just let everything pass you by because you are too afraid to show you care.

That’s why I thought you didn’t care about me. I mean the time you covered me with that blanket the time time I showed up naked in your bedroom. It was sooo cool. Because I thought you’d fuck me and you didn’t. It was just like an American television show. You just wrapped me up and walked away. That’s cool.

So, as I was trying to say. You are sooooooo wonderful. But I’m just a freak. I’m continuously worried about what you think about me, though you never say, about my my parents, about my friends, about my life.

Anyway, I wanted to say that I thought once we could be together. But, tonight, on my birthday, when my friends pitched in together to get me a FUCKING HOT prostitute, I just wanted you to know. I’m not over you. But you are never gonna get anything from me every.


Oh, that felt good.

Bye again.


P.S. Tell your Mother that it’s over too.


Farago Kalman meets Szilvasy Edit

Last night was so much fun I thought I'd post a quick summary.

Esther showed up early, beating Kalman by five minutes. Fortunately,
Kalman brought his Hat.

The two of them surprised me and the lovely Edit, who was still in the
shower. I was picking up the place and as Esther and Kalman milled
about in the main room, Edit instructed me to fetch her various
articles of clothing from around the flat.

Farago Kalman walked into the bathroom unannounced and, thus,
introduced himself to a shocked (but good natured) Szilvasy Edit.

Dzsef arrived shortly thereafter, completing the quorum.

I already had a writing exercise planned, and so I had each guest
write his name on a slip of paper along with his best quality - the
quality s/he most loves. We put each of these papers into Kalman's

Each guest then ate a portion of the Love Cucumber. On last minute
inspiration, Edit prepared Temptation Apples with ginger and sugar.
These were apples gathered from a tree in her garden.

Each groupie selected a name from Kalman's Hat.

The assignment was to write a love letter to that person, regardless
of gender, specifically citing that person's most valued attribute.

Amazingly, each man was coupled with a woman except for me. By the luck of the draw, I selected my own name.