Jeff loves Esther

Dear Esther,

My apologies for my behavior yesterday. I was terribly selfish to consider my own comfort, and you ... you only acted to protect my own interests. Of course, the fault was mine for insisting that we head “South of the Border” for the breakfast burrito before heading over to the church for little Brian’s baptism. As we discussed, unfortunately too loudly, I could not prevent a few ‘Silent but Deadly Ones’ from corrupting the sacred ceremony, and as I have admitted, perhaps too loudly, I ‘needed’ to do it. Of course, you were right for castigating me with your glance ... And now upon further reflection I realize what else you were saying. you had also consumed a breakfast burrito with hot n’ spicy Salsa, and were also struggling with surging gastric gas production. I took the easy way out and gave in to my animal urges. You, however, exercised Heroic ... or should I say Heroine-ic stoicism in controlling and suppressing your overwhelming flatulent instinct and instead, at expenditure of great will, you perservered with the virginal perfume of gaseous anal retention. And it is those muscles you flexed down there that is currently making me all excited.

Love, Jeff